🕊️ Fly You Fools – Blog 4: The Burnout Beneath the Smile

an 8 part blog series for the professional recovering from burnout and suicide.

As a drummer, I am always inspired by music and the love I have for the beat!

Lyrics speak to me in ways that other words can not, and I inspired daily by all kinds of music. This 8 part series has been inspired by the classic rock music of Bread.

Songs: “It Don’t Matter to Me,” “If,” “Sweet Surrender”. By BREAD

☕ When You’re Too Tired to Even Feel Tired

I was living on coffee, adrenaline, and sheer willpower. I smiled at conferences, cried in the car, and collapsed in spirit every night. But I didn’t call it burnout. I called it purpose.
Until I realized: burnout doesn’t always look like falling apart—it often looks like high achievement.

“The expectation that we can be immersed in suffering and loss daily and not be touched by it is as unrealistic as expecting to be able to walk through water without getting wet.”
— Laura van Dernoot Lipsky, Trauma Stewardship

🎶 Songs for the Soul:

• “It Don’t Matter to Me” – the numbness that replaces passion

• “If” – the ache of wishing for another version of yourself

• “Sweet Surrender” – letting go of perfection and embracing peace

🔥 Burnout: The Quiet Crisis in DV Work

We talk about client needs, system gaps, and urgent cases. But what about the crisis inside the advocate?
Vicarious trauma is real. Compassion fatigue is heavy. And burnout is a wildfire we pretend isn’t burning down the forest of our inner life.

In Trauma Stewardship, van Dernoot Lipsky outlines 16 warning signs. When I first took the self-check quiz, I checked YES to all 16. You might too.

📍16 Warning Signs of Trauma Exposure Response (Selected Few):

• Chronic exhaustion (masked as “just busy”)

• Guilt that you’re not doing enough

• Dissociating or disconnecting from your own feelings

• Minimizing your own trauma because “others have it worse”

• Sense of persecution or losing belief in change
  (Source: Trauma Stewardship, 2009)

If any of those hit too close to home—pause. Breathe. You’re not failing. You’re feeling. That’s the soul asking for help.

🔄 The Spherical Tool – Systemic + Spiritual Layers

In this model, burnout is a spherical wound—not just individual, but:

• Systemic: When nonprofit work demands martyrdom, and systems reward burnout with applause.

• Spiritual: When service to God is twisted into self-sacrifice, neglect, and toxic theology that says, “Die to yourself” without understanding what “life in Christ” truly means.

Burnout isn’t noble. It’s a cry for soul restoration.

🛠️ 4 Takeaway Tips

1. Name It Without Shame – Call it burnout, compassion fatigue, trauma exposure. Giving it a name helps you claim your power.

2. Schedule Soulful Stops – Insert regular “rest checkpoints” into your calendar. Recovery needs rhythm.

3. Ask: Is this pace sustainable? If not, create exit ramps and plan rest before crisis makes the choice for you.

4. Anchor in Scripture & Song – Let Psalm 23 lead you back beside still waters. Let “Sweet Surrender” remind you that yielding is not defeat—it’s renewal.

🎥 Jolt Awake: Tip of the Day

Video Question:
💡 “How do you recognize the moment when burnout has gone beyond stress—and what’s the first step back from the edge?”

🔍 SEO Keywords

• Burnout in domestic violence professionals

• 16 signs of trauma exposure

• Christian response to vicarious trauma

• Soul care for caregivers

• Trauma stewardship blog series

💛 You Are Not Failing. You’re Human.

This work is holy. But so is your healing. Let your burnout be the drumbeat back to your own wholeness. Let your surrender be sweet.

If you’re hurting, you are not alone. If you’re exhausted, you are not broken. You are worthy of the same hope you offer to others.

Stronger Women® | Hope. Healing. Dignity.
Visit us: www.strongerwomen.com
📧 Contact: [email protected]