šļø Fly You Fools ā Blog 1: The Fall and the Flame
Facing Burnout and the Cost of Compassion FatigueĀ
an 8 part blog series designed to the professional recovering from burnout and suicide.
āFly, you fools!ā
ā Gandalf, The Fellowship of the Ring
When Gandalf falls into the chasm battling the Balrog, he gives one final command to the Fellowship. Urgent. Gripping. Life-saving.
Fly, you fools.
Itās not a cry of defeatāitās the only chance the others have to live.
For those of us in domestic violence response, advocacy, and trauma care, this warning rings true: if we donāt recognize our own fall, weāll take others with us.
ā My Wake-Up Call
I once believed my exhaustion was noble. That staying late, missing meals, and carrying trauma made me valuable. But when I read Trauma Stewardship by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky and checked yes to all 16 warning signs of trauma exposure responseāI realized:
I wasnāt helping anymore. I was hemorrhaging hope.
My soul had collapsed under the weight of service. I had lost my ability to hear my own heartbeat.
š¶ The Soundtrack of Burnout
I find so much of my help and hope in listening to music. Ā In my search for inspiration, I found some classical music by BREAD for my work.
In reference to this topic, these three songs by BREAD that captured this moment of collapse:
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“If” ā a love letter to something and a part of ourselves we once believed in, now shattered.
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“Everything I Own” ā the high cost of compassion work and how it can leave you helpless and hopeless.
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“Diary” ā a secret grief no one sees until the tears bleed through the pages and the secrets we are forced to keep.
š„ The Drumbeat Disappeared
I play the drums. Rhythm lives in my bones. But during the height of my burnout, I couldnāt feel the beat. I wasnāt tiredāI was disconnected from myself.
This is what trauma stewardship calls out: you cannot pour from a fractured vessel. And you cannot stay near the fire forever.
š§ From Survival to Hope
What brought me back?
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Goals ā Self awareness – Take an extended break. Drink water. Speak honestly. Rest and refresh.
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Pathways ā Searching for a new Community. Journaling through the painful steps. Asking for help.
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Willpower ā Choosing joy even when I didnāt feel it. Choosing to live.
This is the Science of Hope, and it matters deeply in this work. It isn’t a feelingāit’s a framework. We teach it to others. Now we must claim it for ourselves. I found that I had lost hope. I wasn’t believing tomorrow would be better, and had lost my ability to see that. I had no will power. Ā Once hope returned and I could see a new pathway again, I gained strength to help myself and others once again.
š„ The 16 Signs You Canāt Ignore
(adapted from Trauma Stewardship by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky)
If you experience:
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Chronic exhaustion
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Dissociation
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Loss of empathy
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Numbing or addictive behaviors
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Guilt for taking breaks
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And moreā¦
Itās not just burnout. Itās a crisis of the soul.
āļø A Healing Scripture
āCome to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.ā
ā Matthew 11:28
Why do we offer rest to others but deny it to ourselves?
ā Jolt Awake: Tip of the Day
š„ Jolt Awake Video Prompt:
Whatās one early warning sign that youāre no longer just tiredābut burned out?
š ļø 4 Takeaway Tips for the Healing Advocate
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Recognize the warning signs ā If you resonate with 5 or more, take action now.
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Reclaim your rhythm ā Do something today that reconnects you to YOU.
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Reach out ā Call someone who knows your soul, not just your job title.
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Refuse the false bridge ā Stop telling yourself that youāll be okay after the next crisis. You deserve healing now.
š§” You Are Not Alone
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or feel like you are drowning in this work, please take a moment. Call. Text. Wait. You are loved.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
š 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
š suicidepreventionlifeline.org
š Learn More & Heal Forward
š Stronger than EspressoĀ® ā Step 1: The Awakening
š» www.strongerwomen.com
š Contact Dr. Brooke Jones: [email protected]
Dr. Brooke Jones is the founder of Stronger WomenĀ® and the creator of the Stronger than EspressoĀ® healing model. A survivor of multiple forms of abuse, Dr. Brooke has dedicated her life to helping others heal through faith, education, and the science of hope. With over two decades of experience in trauma-informed care, she leads with humility and compassion, training first responders, advocates, and faith leaders to respond effectively to domestic violence. Her work has empowered thousands of survivors to move from surviving to thriving.
