Blog 5: The False Bridge – The Melody Back from Heartbreak

an 8 part blog Series: Fly You Fools – A Journey Through Burnout, Hope, and Coming Home
By Dr. Brooke Jones | Founder, Stronger than Espresso® | www.strongerwomen.com

“Goodbye doesn’t mean forever.”
— BREAD, “Goodbye Girl”

☕ Opening Metaphor: The False Bridge

There’s a moment in healing when you think you’ve found the path forward. It feels steady—familiar, even comforting. Maybe it’s a relationship, a job, a ministry calling, or a structure that once held you. But halfway across, your soul starts to whisper, This bridge won’t hold. You pause. You panic. You smile for the photos anyway. But deep down, you know—you’re walking a false bridge.

False bridges are dangerous to healing. They appear strong but were never built for your full weight. They offer comfort but not transformation. I, Dr. Brooke, have walked many. Most of us in caregiving or advocacy have. We cross with wounded hearts, hoping this next thing will heal us—only to discover it was just another detour away from our own soul.

🥁 Drumming and BREAD: Soundtrack of the Shift

This chapter of recovery has a melody, and it’s filled with longing and clarity. I invite you to listen to these three BREADsongs while you read:

• “Goodbye Girl” – The aching recognition of leaving behind what no longer heals.

• “Everything I Own” – The sacrifice we make to find ourselves again.

• “Diary” – The words we write to survive, sometimes never meant to be read.

As a drummer, I feel these songs in my chest before I hear them in my ears. The rhythm of heartbreak is slow. Heavy. It’s the backbeat of burnout. But when you start to drum again—not for others, not for your clients, but for your soul—you begin to find your melody back from heartbreak.

🕯️ The False Bridge in Trauma Stewardship

In Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others, Laura van Dernoot Lipsky names the weight of carrying trauma that isn’t ours—and how easy it is to numb, disconnect, or over-identify. I’ve done all three. Sometimes, our false bridge is the work itself. The performance. The helping. The over-functioning. We cloak ourselves in mission and forget to clothe ourselves in mercy.

False bridges look like:

• Staying in toxic roles because you “should be grateful”

• Accepting less than you deserve because you “know how bad others have it”

• Numbing through work, alcohol, achievement, or people-pleasing

• Spiritual bypassing—calling it “faith” when it’s actually fear

Let’s call it what it is. These bridges will buckle. And when they do, it’s not your failure—it’s your freedom call.

🌱 From False Bridge to Real Healing: My Journey

When I left the country for a 16-day healing journey, I didn’t know how far I’d drifted from myself. I had been walking so many false bridges I didn’t even know how to recognize solid ground anymore. But on that trip, the melody began again. I could hear God again. I could feel hope again.

I remembered: Hope is not a feeling. It’s a skill. And the Science of Hope teaches us we need three things to survive trauma:

1. Goals – I had to name my desire to live, not just function.

2. Pathways – I needed new routes, not recycled pain.

3. Willpower – I had to let others help me carry it until I could again.

This is the work of Redefining Your Life, the 5th and final step in the Stronger than Espresso® healing journey. It’s the beat where you stop just surviving and start truly living again.

🔥 Scripture and Spiritual Clarity

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”
— Isaiah 43:19

Sometimes, what God is doing in our life can’t be built on old bridges. The new thing will not be walked by the old version of us. And that’s a terrifying, beautiful truth.

☕ Takeaway Tips – 4 Tools to Cross the Right Bridge

1. Name a false bridge you’ve walked. Write it out. Name it. Mourn it. Release it.

2. Create your personal Hope Map. Write your current goal. List 3 pathways to get there. Name one person who can help you carry it.

3. Drum it out. Literally or metaphorically. Find a song, beat, or sound that helps you reconnect with your body and breath.

4. Say goodbye to what you once loved but no longer serves. “Goodbye Girl” doesn’t mean you didn’t love it. It means you’re ready for something real.

💛 Final Word

You’re not crazy for loving a false bridge. You’re human. But you’re not meant to stay there. The melody back from heartbreak is already playing. Pick up your drumsticks. Let’s walk—no, dance—into the next measure of healing.

Download the full QRG handout + playlist at:
📲 www.strongerwomen.com/resources
📧 Contact: [email protected]
🔗 @strongerwomenofficial
🎵 Songs by BREAD used for educational purposes only.